5 Ways to Heal Family Wounds

Emotional wounds can gush well beneath the surface of what others can see long before they close, crust over, and scar. And then those emotional scars remain unseen, leaving the bearer to experience levels of pain that often go unaddressed. It is because of this that trauma, even before a couple marries, can dictate the way a person reacts to various situations.

Depending on the wound, stage of healing, and the individual involved, there are many ways these lacerations on our souls can affect both couple and family dynamics. It is essential to consider that adults have difficulty regulating themselves as they heal, so imagine what emotional dysregulation looks like when a child is the one suffering.

There is good news, though. We serve a God bigger than any hurt, and though it may take time and patience on our part, His healing love can restore peace. Let’s discuss some of the ways that emotional wounds can affect family dynamics, and then let’s delve into five ways you can foster unity and healing in your home and strengthen family bonds.

How Emotional Wounds Affect Family Dynamics

What is an emotional wound?

Emotional wounds can stem from past hurts, unresolved conflicts, and/or traumatic experiences. Communication breakdown is often the beginning stage of sinking a positive family dynamic. When we struggle to express ourselves, we often become more combative and judgmental of those around us, leading to unnecessary arguments.

Pain and inability to express said hurt can lead to resentment and bitterness. This only works to hinder forgiveness and create more conflict and tension. Additionally, our human nature often pushes us to distance ourselves emotionally when we are hurting. This, in my opinion, is where we go wrong. God doesn’t believe in division. First, He wants us to come to Him with our pain. Secondly, He gifts us with an earthly family because we were never designed or intended to be distant. We need connection with others to heal and to thrive.

Another way that emotional wounds manifest and affect the family dynamic in children and teens is through behavior. They may act out or withdraw.

How God’s Love Heals

Through forgiveness, compassion, empathy, and reconciliation, God has the power to heal our memories and transform our hearts and minds. This allows us to move forward to be who He means for us to be. He wants to free us from the emotional pain that resides within us.

It is vital to mention that healing requires active participation on our part. The process is a journey, not instantaneous.

Ways to Foster Unity, Heal, and Strengthen Family Bonds

There are many ways that we can foster unity and work towards healing, all of which serve to strengthen our family bonds. Below are five:

1.    Create a Safe Space for Communication

God takes communication and how we engage in it so seriously that He provides instruction in creating safe spaces for communication multiple times throughout the scripture. James 1:19 (NIV) tells us that we “should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) warns us to “not let any unwholesome talk come out of [our] mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Proverbs 15:1 (NIV) reminds us that “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Colossians 4:6 (NIV) tells us to “Let [our] conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that [we] may know how to answer everyone.”

2.    Practice Forgiveness

Christians are called to forgive as God forgives. This includes our neighbors as well as ourselves. Take Ephesians 4:32 (NIV), for instance. It says to “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you.”

3.    Cultivate Empathy and Compassion

We are called to love our neighbor, rejoice and mourn with others, and bear one another’s burdens. Galatians 6:2 (NIV) tells us to “carry each other’s burdens,” whereasRomans 12:15 (NIV) tells us to “rejoice with those who rejoice; and mourn with those who mourn.” If we are to do these for strangers and our neighbors in general, we can most assuredly do this for the people we love the most.

4.    Participate in Activities Together as a Family

While the Bible doesn’t comment on this concept directly, it does invite us to create and keep special memories. Deuteronomy 4:9 (NIV) tells us to “be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”

5.    Don’t Be Scared to Seek Professional Help.

God gives people knowledge so that we may use it to help one another. Humility, recognizing when we need help, is valued by God. God often works through people to help others heal. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV) mandates that our “bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.”

Scripture encourages us to take the initiative to take care of our earthly bodies. It stands to reason that this extends to the mind. God wants our bodies, minds, and hearts safe. There is never any shame in reaching out to professionals when we need help.

Professionals include medical doctors, psychiatric doctors, psychologists, and clinical and pastoral counselors.

Love is the Foundation For Strong Families

Time alone doesn’t heal all wounds. In fact, sometimes, the physical ones heal far faster than the emotional ones. But during difficult times, God wants us to lean into Him and into our family for strength. He also expects us to be willing to hold up our family members when they struggle. In closing, two scriptures come to mind.

Colossians 3:14 (NIV) reminds us that love binds all the other virtues together in “perfect unity,” while Proverbs 17:17 (NIV) suggests that while “a friend loves at all times, a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

Emotional wounds affect more than just the individual; they can impact the entire family dynamic. It is essential to remember that we are never alone. You have a God bigger than the pain and a family who loves you, too!