Peyton Garland serves as the Digital Operations Manager for Dove.org. In addition, she is a freelance writer and editor who loves hunting down the best waterfalls and homegrown pizzerias with her husband, Josh, and their two furry babies, Alfie and Daisy.
Peyton has always had her ducks in a row. She's earned the straight A's, won all the Awana trophies, and mastered the "good girl" calling. But in 2018, she discovered that she has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and for once, her world wasn't tied up in a perfect red bow. Since then, Peyton has turned her flaws and fears into words that share Jesus' grace and mercy she's found on her mental health journey.
A basic church kid, I had always known that a super compassionate Jesus was the only way to Heaven. He's it. He's the only One with ducks that never swim out of the row or quack too loud. But no matter how many Bible verses I recited, my heart and head couldn't rationalize how Jesus wasn't standing over me with a big, scary javelin. Forgiven and saved, I still exhausted myself proving that I could somehow earn an extra gold star from the One Who flung them all throughout the galaxies.
But, when your OCD is defined as a cascading list of bad, irrational thoughts that tend to catalyze unhealthy, fierce mood swings, you can't play the "good girl" role so well anymore. Instead, you look to a really good God Who doesn't bail when you mess up. You let Him do all of your talking and walking and you just stand behind Him and cry, wave your hands to the sky, and do whatever you do to let Him know that He's the true King.
And once you feel that safe with God, life doesn't have to look so perfect.
You can follow Peyton's journey with Jesus and OCD on Instagram @peytonmgarlandwrites