How to Resist the Little Temptations Hurting Your Marriage

It’s no secret that the devil’s hard at work trying to destroy marriages and families. Yours is no exception!

Some marriage sins are major and obvious, such as lying or infidelity. However, several smaller temptations can sneak their way into our marriages without us even realizing it.

Our everyday marriage choices can make or break our relationships. If we allow ourselves to compromise in small areas, the damage will slowly snowball into an avalanche of hurt.

These small temptations can take many forms, but they always result in division. So, how do we resist them biblically?

Temptations That Sneak in

What do some of these “little” temptations look like?

• Perhaps you’re frustrated with something your husband did, and you want to share your negative thoughts about the situation with your friends or relatives.
• Maybe your wife said something that belittled you or hurt your feelings, but instead of addressing it, you hold onto your anger to keep the “peace.” Yet, you build resentment inside.
• Maybe you don’t agree with your spouse on an important decision, but instead of coming together in prayer and unity, you hold onto all the reasons you’re “right” and let the issue drive you further apart.
• You might see the extravagantly romantic date Kevin took Stacey on for their anniversary last week or hear John go on about all the reasons he loves Sarah and think to yourself, “Why doesn’t my husband do things like that?”

Do any of those resonate with you? If so, you’re not alone. Our sinful nature can often take over, even in our most meaningful loving relationships. How do we get a handle on these issues and keep them from tearing our marriages apart?

Tools Against Temptations

The good news is that God equips us with tools to resist temptations. He is also able to sympathize with our temptations, as Jesus himself was tempted.

One of our major weapons as Christians is the Bible. What does it say in these areas of temptation?

• This is such an easy trap to fall into, even as Christians. With the details of everyone’s lives on full blast on social media, nothing seems private anymore.

The Bible tells us we should honor and respect our spouses. If we have a grievance against them, we should discuss it with them, not with others.

We can combat the temptation to talk negatively about our spouses by remembering our love for them and our loyalty to them. We should encourage them and speak kindly to and about them. We don’t want to say something about our spouse in the heat of the moment that will leave others thinking poorly of them in the long run.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up…” (Ephesians 4:29, ESV)

“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.” (Psalm 141:3, ESV)

• Are there any other conflict avoiders out there? Conflict of any kind makes me incredibly nervous and uncomfortable, so I often try to avoid it at all costs.

In a marriage or any close relationship, though, issues are going to arise, nd avoiding them does more harm than good. Keeping negative feelings bottled up doesn’t make them disappear; instead, it only leads to resentment.

We can fight this temptation by addressing whatever’s bothering us with our spouse before it bubbles over into something bigger.

“Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13, ESV)

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone” (Mark 11:25, ESV)

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” (Ephesians 4:31, ESV)

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble (Hebrews 12:15, ESV)

• Living with another person is bound to have its share of conflict and disagreements. Two people with different personalities, upbringings, and ideas are not always going to agree on little things such as a restaurant to eat at or bigger things like financial decisions.

When we’re at odds with our spouse, it’s important to remember that we’re on the same team. God calls us to unity, and the best way we can do that is by keeping him at the center of our marriage.

Even when we disagree, we can come together in love for one another and pray for wisdom and discernment.

“…that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.” (1 Corinthians 1:10, ESV)

“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” (1 Peter 3:8, ESV)

• Comparing our marriages to others can quickly lead to discontentment and jealousy. We don’t usually see the messy parts of other couples’ relationships, but each one has its struggles.

We can fight off comparison by tending to our own marriages. Talk to your spouse about what you appreciate about them and the areas where your relationship is thriving. You should also communicate honestly about the struggles and where you think needs more work.

“A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot .” (Proverbs 14:30, ESV)” And he said to them, ‘Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness’…” (Luke 12:15, ESV)

Be Prepared and Well-Equipped

Temptations are sure to come. However, you can prepare yourself in advance to stand firm against them. Some practical ways to do this are:

• Spend time in God’s Word. When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, his combat against temptation was using the truth in Scripture, even when the devil tried to twist it against him. Be in the Word regularly and dwell on what it says.
• Communicate often and openly with your spouse. Do you know how many issues in marriage stem from miscommunication? Check in with your husband throughout the day. Ask your wife what’s on her mind and tell her what’s on yours.
  Prioritizing connection with your spouse builds a stronger bond, making it more difficult for the devil to creep his way in.
• Keep Christ at the center of your marriage. Most Christians say they do this, but to do so is a daily practice of intentionality.

It involves spending time praying for and with your spouse, reading the Bible together, seeking his direction in your day-to-day decisions, and discussing how you see God at work in your life.

Power Over Temptation

When temptations arise in your marriage, remember that you are not powerless. You have the power of the Spirit of the living God in you!

Stand firm and keep your marriage grounded in Christ.