9 House Rules For the Christian Home

“Your daughter is just so kind. I noticed that about her immediately. I bet she’s always been that way!” Um, no. She hasn’t. While I loved hearing someone compliment my teen, I wanted to set the record straight. She didn’t come prepackaged that way. No child does. Instead, after becoming parents, my husband and I decided to make “practicing kindness” a rule for our family. We did our best to practice kindness with each other (even during an argument). We kept pointing our children toward kindness in their interactions, too. Ultimately, we wanted people to see the kindness of Jesus shining through us. It’s why we made it a family rule.

Family rules can unify your family around shared beliefs and serve as a practical reflection of your faith. Creating a Jesus-centered home doesn’t happen overnight. It takes intentional effort over time. Take a look at these nine house rules and pick one that clicks! Start small, be consistent, and watch how these “rules” become the heartbeat of your family culture. Some days will be messy, and that’s okay. Keep your eyes on Him, extend grace liberally, and trust He’s working in your family story.

We practice forgiveness.

“Put up with one another. Forgive one another if you are holding something against someone. Forgive, just as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13 NiRv

Thank God He forgave us. Our lives would look so much different if He didn’t, right? By making forgiveness a family rule, you teach your kids (and remind yourself) to reflect God’s grace toward others. For example, when your youngest accidentally breaks her brother’s favorite toy, guide them both toward forgiveness: lead her to sincerely apologize, encourage her brother to express his feelings, and then choose to forgive. This teaches both children the value of forgiveness and empathy and shows, “In our family, we forgive!”

We speak with kindness and respect.

“Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.” – Ephesians 4:29 The Message

Words have power, and in a family, they can build up or tear down a person and relationship. This rule helps everyone pause before speaking. Even in disagreements, we can choose kindness and respect. However, it might take some practice, especially for younger children and teens whose emotions can take over quickly. In those moments, say something like this: “I know you’re frustrated, but let’s find a respectful way to express that. In our family, we speak with kindness.”

We actively look for God’s goodness.

“The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.” – Psalm 145:9

We don’t need to look hard to see our world’s brokenness. Our culture is really good at keeping it front and center. However, claiming this as a house rule for your family keeps your eyes focused on God and His goodness, even on the hardest days. Some days, it may take a little more hunting to see it. For example, after a rough day at school, when your teen comes home in tears, ask: “Where did you see God’s goodness in all that happened?” Maybe it was in the hug her friend gave her after the test, the encouraging text she received from you before, or even the sunshine she felt on her face after school. God’s goodness can always be found.

We serve others.

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others…” – 1 Peter 4:10

Nothing bonds a family like serving others together. Whether making meals for a new mom, volunteering at church, or helping a neighbor in need with yard work, service teaches kids to be the hands and feet of Jesus. But, this house rule also applies inside your home, too. Serving others includes emptying the dishwasher, taking out the trash, and, yes, even cleaning the bathroom.

We celebrate each other’s wins.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice.” – Romans 12:15

Creating a family culture of genuine celebration pulls up the roots of jealousy and encourages the growth of supportive siblings. Plus, over time, your family learns to recognize the unique giftings in each family member. Did your oldest ace the chemistry test? Order her favorite takeout pizza to celebrate! Did your youngest catch the fly ball to secure the win? Let him pick the movie for family night! Did your husband close the deal on a big sale? Go out for ice cream after dinner! After all, in your family, you celebrate each other’s wins!

We admit our mistakes.

“People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will find mercy.” – Proverbs 28:13 NLT

This one’s huge for families. As a parent, when you model humility by owning up to a mistake, your kids learn it’s okay to be imperfect. You also show that your home is a safe space to share mishaps because your child learns she won’t be met with shame. Instead, family members will encounter mercy and grace. It’s okay to say, “I shouldn’t have yelled earlier. I’m sorry, and I’m working on managing my frustration better. Will you forgive me?”

We express gratitude daily.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Practicing gratitude promotes a positive mindset by shifting your family’s focus from what you lack to what you have. It’s also linked to reduced stress, increased happiness, and a greater sense of fulfillment. Try sharing “three good things” at dinner or keep a family gratitude journal. It’s not just for Thanksgiving!

We honor God in our choices.

“…as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” – Joshua 24:15

This rule guides decision-making, big and small. When choosing movies, planning vacations, or even deciding how to spend allowance or how you talk to each other– you can ask, “Does this choice honor God?” It’s not about legalism but keeping your family compass pointed toward Him.

We extend grace.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith…” – Ephesians 2:8-9

 In a world quick to judge, let your home be a haven of grace. Spilled a drink on the couch? Left your homework at home? Missed curfew? These are all opportunities to demonstrate the unearned favor God shows us. This means extending forgiveness and compassion, even when your child makes misbehaves. Instead of harshness, you respond with love, patience, and guidance–just like God does with us.