6 Ways to Build a Strong Family Prayer Routine

If you are anything like me, your family life is busy, sometimes chaotic, and often loud. That doesn’t sound like the perfect environment for prayer, but I promise you, it is!

Your home doesn’t need to look, or even sound, a certain way to be a great place to build a strong family prayer routine. Ephesians 6:18 (NIV) says, “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.”

Building a prayer routine is much like developing a new habit. Here are six simple ways you can develop a family prayer routine that will help you stay connected to each other as a family and Jesus.

Be Realistic

Are you a visionary or a dreamer? Do you love to set up a big, ambitious plan but need help following through consistently? I do, too!

That is why I recommend starting realistically. It may not be realistic to memorize the Lord’s Prayer together in a week or to pray for every child’s classmates every night at dinner.

What is doable for your family? Can your family handle a more conversational prayer or popcorn prayer better than a contemplative prayer? Maybe you want to start with songs or verses as prayers instead of requiring your children to form full sentences (Matthew 6:7, NIV).

If your children are under 7, praying in their heads may not be developmentally realistic. You may want to start by asking them questions and having them whisper the prayer into a pillow.

Finally, keep your particular family’s needs in mind. Another family’s prayer routine may not be a good fit for your family. Prayerfully decide what is most realistic for your family based on ages, development, and schedule.

Start Small

Similar to being realistic, start small. Big, ambitious prayer goals are intimidating and require a lot of effort and energy not only to get started but also to maintain them.

Zechariah 4:10 (NLT) encourages this, too. It says, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.”

If we can start small, it is easier to become a part of our family rhythm and faith routine.

In her newest book, “Little Habits, Big Faith: How Simple Practices Help Your Family Grow in Jesus,” Christie Thomas writes, “Little faith habits are how we plant intentional seeds that will sprout in our kids’ lives—and in our own lives.”

Try Habit Stacking

Are you familiar with habit stacking? This is when you take a current habit and add another habit to it. The first habit or action acts as a trigger to prompt the second new habit.

In our family, whenever we hear sirens, we pray. While hearing sirens isn’t a habit, it is a trigger reminding us to pray. My girls, from as young as two, have learned this prayer trigger and started praying for the police officers and firefighters.

You might choose that when you sit down for breakfast, you pray a blessing over your day. Or when your kids brush their teeth at night, they say a prayer of confession and ask Jesus to clean their hearts like they are cleaning their teeth. Any time can be a time to pray, for we are to “never stop praying” (1 Thessalonians 5:17, NLT).

Include Your Kids in Planning

If you want your kids to be a part of your family prayer routine, which I know you do, I encourage you to include them in the planning.

It is a great discipleship opportunity to talk about what prayer is and why we pray. Plus, if your children feel a part of the planning, they are more likely to take ownership and participate willingly. They may even help remind you when things get busy, or you are off of your normal routine.

Brainstorm ideas of ways to pray, topics to pray about, and people to pray for. Start by listening to all ideas, no matter how silly or unrealistic they may be. Then, after everyone is heard, you can go back and talk about each idea and how it might or might not work.

Give them roles in your prayer routine and help them lead. There is so much we, as parents, can learn from our children. Psalm 8:2 (NLT) shows us this by saying, “You have taught children and infants to tell of your strength, silencing your enemies and all who oppose you.”

Experiment Before Committing

Now that you have invited your children to help plan how and when to pray, take some time to experiment with different styles, times, and locations.

You may think that praying for each other before you leave for school and work is a good idea, but you discover after a week that it adds more stress to your morning routine.

You might want to try it at the dinner table, but then once you try it, you realize that you are only really having dinner together 4 nights a week with dance, soccer, and church commitments.

When you approach something as an experiment, it doesn’t have to feel like a failure when you need to adjust or change things. Instead, you’ve learned something that doesn’t work for you.

The only requirement when you pray is that it is prayed in truth, “The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth” (Psalm 145:18, NLT).

Give Yourself Grace

Routines work best when everything is the same. Unfortunately, we know that things come up in our schedules—church events, recitals, sports games, and vacations—that throw a wrench in our plans and routines.

It can be easy to let our prayer routine slip after missing a night. Perhaps you will decide to pick it up again after the busy season is over. There might be better thought processes. Katy Milkman of CNN writes, “Successful habit building relies on frequently repeating a behavior, and if your routine becomes too brittle, you’ll follow through less often.”

We must be flexible and gracious. When we can’t pray around the dinner table, we can pray on our way to soccer instead. God is everywhere and can hear us from anywhere.

But if you forget, that’s ok, too. Give yourself grace and start again, no matter how it looks. Don’t let shame or busyness stop you from talking and listening to God. For “the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness” (Romans 8:26, NLT).

Strong Family Prayer Routine

How will you create a strong family prayer routine? What will yours look like? How will you include your kids? What are your must-dos, and where can you be flexible?

There is no one-size-fits-all prayer routine. Just show up together before God, and he will listen and speak.