The enemy knows his job description really well. But thanks to Jesus, so do we, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10). That’s his whole role and attitude toward us and our relationships. He doesn’t hide his agenda or his target. If you claim Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then the enemy is going to come after you and your marriage. That doesn’t mean he wins, because the other half of that verse, Jesus proclaims, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
But we need to guard against the lies the enemy whispers. They typically start quietly like during a tense argument about money or the kids. Or the lies fill in the silence after the same old unresolved issue comes up again. “He will never change,” the voice suggests, or “You’re too emotional.” Before you know it, these thoughts feel louder than your spouse’s voice, more convincing than your wedding vows, and more real than God’s truth.
But every lie the enemy tells about your marriage crumbles under God’s Word. Take these 5 everyday deceptions and replace them with hope-filled truth that can transform your mental health and your marriage.
This lie does double duty by attacking your faith and your marriage. The enemy whispers that godly marriages don’t have marital problems, that if you just prayed more, submitted better, or had stronger faith, your relationship would be healthy. This lie breeds shame, spiritual anxiety, and the exhausting pressure to be perfect.
The Truth: Even the most faithful believers face marriage challenges. Scripture is full of stories about married couples who loved God and trusted Him as they walked through His plan that included difficulty. Abraham and Sarah had fertility issues. Priscilla and Aquila had to flee their home due to persecution. Mary and Joseph faced an unplanned pregnancy that could have destroyed their engagement.
James 1:2,3 tells us to “consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” Scripture says “whenever,” not “if.”
How to Fight This Lie: Marriage is one of God’s primary tools for making us more like Christ. When challenges arise, instead of asking “What’s wrong with my faith?” ask “How is God using this to grow us?” Pray together when possible, but release the burden of being your spouse’s Holy Spirit.
This lie convinces women to minimize their feelings and to carry emotional burdens alone. (Psst. Isolation is one of the enemy’s go-to strategies!) The enemy suggests that expressing hurt, frustration, or even joy will overwhelm or annoy your spouse. Meanwhile, the enemy whispers to men that emotions are weakness and that their role is to “fix” rather than listen and comfort. This creates anxiety around emotional intimacy for wives and pressure to have all the answers for husbands.
The Truth: God created men and women as emotional beings. Our feelings matter to Him and should matter in our relationships. Psalm 56:8 tells us that God lists our tears on a scroll. He doesn’t minimize our emotions or tell us they’re “too much.”
Jesus expressed every human emotion. He wept, felt anger, experienced joy, and expressed frustration. Your emotions are a reflection of being made in God’s image.
How to Fight This Lie: Emotional intimacy requires vulnerability from both people. Practice expressing your emotions honestly but kindly. Use “I feel” statements instead of accusations. Start small and give your spouse time to learn how to respond well.
This lie feeds comparison and entitlement. Maybe you hear the whisper of it when you’re scrolling on social media or looking at other couples in the lobby at church who seem happier, more loving, or better off financially. The lie suggests you’ve been shortchanged and deserve better. This mindset breeds resentment and bitterness, which Hebrews 12:15 warns can “cause trouble and defile many.”
The Truth: None of us gets what we deserve (thank goodness for that)! Romans 6:23 tells us that “the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Instead of focusing on what you’re not getting, consider what God has graciously given you: forgiveness, love, and a spouse to walk through life alongside.
How to Fight This Lie: Practice gratitude intentionally, especially on the hard days. Write down three things you appreciate about your spouse each week (and text one to him!). When comparison creeps in, remind yourself that every marriage has unseen struggles. Focus on being the wife God calls you to be rather than demanding your husband become who you think he should be.
This lie creates hopelessness and can lead to emotional withdrawal. When we believe our spouse is incapable of growth, we stop investing in the relationship and start building walls instead of bridges. Why bother trying anymore? Right?
The Truth: Philippians 1:6 assures us that “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” God isn’t finished with either one of you. The Holy Spirit is still working, still transforming, still growing you to be more like Jesus. Change may be slow, but with God, it’s always possible. The same God who is changing you can change your spouse.
How to Fight This Lie: Pray for your spouse’s heart instead of trying to change his behavior. Ask God to show you areas where you need growth, too. Be patient with the process and trust God’s promise in Philippians 1:6. Whether you can see it or not, He is still working beneath the surface.
The enemy loves to isolate us, making us believe that our marital struggles are too shameful to share or that no one would understand. This isolation can lead to (or worsen) anxiety and depression, creating a cycle where problems feel bigger and hope diminishes.
The Truth: Galatians 6:2 instructs us to “carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” God designed us for community–with Him and with fellow believers. It’s why the enemy keeps trying to keep us from it!
How to Fight This Lie: Find a mentor couple, join a marriage small group, or seek Christian counseling. Don’t let shame keep you from the help God wants to provide through a community of believers. Vulnerability with the right people can bring healing. And, honestly? Most couples will tell you they’ve been exactly where you are.
Father, thank You for the gift of marriage and for my spouse. I confess that I’ve believed lies about our relationship that have affected my mental health and my marriage. Please help me replace those lies with Your truth. Help me see my spouse through Your eyes and our marriage through Your promises. Give us both grace for the journey and hope for our future together. In Jesus’ name, Amen.