Why “Follow Your Heart” Isn’t Always Godly Advice For Kids

As adults, we are usually aware of the deceptive nature of our hearts and the truth that Jeremiah 17:9-10 tells us, “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (ESV).

As parents, it can be more difficult to explain this truth to our children. They, too, need to know that following their hearts isn’t always the best choice. We can impart Jesus’ teachings to guide them. While emotions can sometimes lead us astray, aligning our hearts with God’s truth can lead to blessing.

So, how can we teach our kids to discern between emotions and God’s guidance?

The Heart is Sneaky

We all have a sinful nature, even our kiddos. It is important to teach our kids to recognize this and to learn to check their hearts as King David did (Psalm139:23 ESV). Many stories in scripture can reveal how listening to our hearts can lead us astray – Eve, Cain, David, Jacob’s brothers, Solomon, and more. Read these stories to your kids to help them understand that all people are born with sinful hearts. Ask them to find out how each Bible character’s heart was acting sneaky and what the consequences were.

For Parents: Use this chart to guide your kids in recognizing the heart issues that lead to wrong choices.

Wise Words for Moms Chart

The Heart Needs Truth

The next step in helping our kids to put Jesus before their hearts is to help them seek the wisdom of Romans 12:2, which says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will,” (ESV). Training kids to use scripture as their guide can be a powerful defense for them against their emotions. Using scripture memory through songs is one excellent way to help them call to mind God’s truth when they are faced with a decision to follow their heart or not. This allows them to “always being prepared to make a defense” (1 Peter 3:15 ESV). Consider a craft where you make pretend swords and shields with scripture written on them. When they are struggling with their heart, have them grab their armor and read the verse!

For Parents: Use this music resource to help your kids armor themselves with truth.

Seeds Family Worship

The Heart Needs to Obey

Teaching kids to obey us is the first step in helping them come under the will and law of God. Rewarding good behavior and disciplining defiant behavior are steps in this process for our kids. Teach your kids to pause before making a choice, and make sure they feel your compassion. They know that it can be hard to obey, but it is still right and good. Each child struggles in different areas. Draw a large heart on a piece of paper and then have your child write down or draw the areas where their heart tempts them to disobey. Tape it near their bed and pray over these areas each night as part of their bedtime routine.

For Parents: Use this hymn as an anthem in your training process.

Trust and Obey Hymn

The Heart Will Be Fulfilled

I often sing to my kids, “seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you, Hallelu Hallelujah” (Matthew 6:33). Kids need to taste and see the joy of following God rather than our hearts. Explain this with an object lesson. Use a spoonful of honey and a vase of flowers to give them tangible realities of God’s good gifts. When you notice them making the right choice, give them rewards! Have them create a chart to track what happens when they obey the truth!

For Parents: Use this lesson to help your children understand that God’s plans and gifts are better than what we think we can give ourselves by following our hearts.

Obedience Lesson

Demonstrating to your children that following their heart isn’t always the best choice is a lesson that will serve them their whole lives. Jesus’ teachings are clear and can guide them daily. Their emotions will try to lead them astray, but you can equip them to align their hearts with God’s truth.