29 Questions to Uncover Your Teen’s Heart

The adolescent years are notorious for creating a communication challenge. If you have a teenager, chances are good they spend a lot more time in their room than they used to. They don’t understand why it bothers you when they wear headphones (or that single air pod, ugh!) every waking minute. And apparently, even the way you breathe can be annoying!

Am I right?

Bless them. With all those hormones quadrupling inside them and the social rules constantly changing around them, it’s no wonder our teens sometimes feel like shutting themselves off from the world! They often have to work really hard to say and do the right things to be liked by the people around them. As a result, they might not have much energy to give when they get home.

At the same time, everyone needs a place where they can be accepted without fear of rejection. They need to know they can process their thoughts and talk through their ideas, even if they don’t always make sense. As parents, we have the opportunity to be a safe place for our older kids to open up.

The best way to uncover your teen’s heart is to ask questions. Teenagers might resent being told what to do, but they love being given a voice! Asking the right questions can give you glimpses of what your teen really cares about, as well as what God is currently doing in their life. However, the key is to listen— not only to their words but also to their heart.

While some of these questions may seem corny, and your teen might be a little resistant at first, keep trying. Asking one or two questions each night at the dinner table or in the car on a long drive will slowly pave the way to an environment in which they are willing to open up. Be patient. Watch and see what God can do!

Here are 29 Questions to Uncover Your Teen’s Heart:

1. What is one of your favorite family traditions?
2. What qualities do you look for in a friend?
3. If you could ask God anything, what would you ask Him?
4. What is something you love about our family? Why?
5. What is one thing you would change about our family if you could? Why?
6. What are your top three favorite movies (or books)?
7. What is something about the Bible/Christianity you don’t understand?
8. What do you think Jesus would do if he were living in the world today?
9. Who do you think Jesus would vote for? Why?
10. Do you think it’s more important to do something you love for work or just make a living so you can do things you love?
11. Who is someone you admire, and what do you admire about them?
12. Who is your all-time favorite teacher? Why?
13. If you could meet with any historical person who is no longer alive, who would it be, and what would you ask them?
14. What is something you regret?
15. What is something you’ve done that you’re proud of?
16. What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself?
17. If you won an all-expense paid vacation, where would you want to go, and what would you want to do there?
18. If you could solve one problem in the world (cure cancer, stop child abuse, end poverty, etc.), what would it be?
19. What is the best trip our family has ever taken?
20. What was one of the best days of your life?
21. What was one of the worst days of your life?
22. Can you think of something you prayed for, but now you’re glad you didn’t get it? Tell me about it!
23. If you could choose one celebrity to be like, who would you choose and why?
24. What song best describes your life right now?
25. What do you hope your life looks like in 10 years?
26. What do you believe makes a person successful?
27. What is something about you that would surprise me?
28. How do you see yourself making a difference in the world?
29. What is something you hope God never asks you to do?

“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” (Proverbs 20:5, NIV)

Prayer: Lord, You alone know the deepest thoughts and desires in my teen’s heart. Please help me be quick to listen and slow to speak, allowing room for my child to share their thoughts. Help them feel safe enough to open up. Give me divine wisdom and discernment to hear past the words that speak to their heart, that I may continually guide them closer to You. In Jesus name, Amen.