The easy thing to do when any relationship gets weird or hard is to ghost or run away. The hard and holy thing to do is to stay and pray.
Excluding, of course, abusive relationships of any sort. If you think you might be in one but you’re not sure, talk out loud to people who love you about what you’re walking through. I’ve been in your shoes and had no idea what I was in was abusive and I know what it feels like to be unsure.
Seek out wise people who love you & can tell you what’s true & will walk with you as you break away from it with a tender, beautiful patience. There’s hope on the other side. I promise.
Unhealthy patterns of behavior influenced by fear can do a really sneaky and deceptive job of masquerading as love when they are in fact the opposite. You’re so worth loving, friend.
To stay and pray ... gosh, they don’t quite lend themselves to comfort or control, do they? Whether the relationship is unhealthy in that it is lacking in boundaries, or communication isn’t a strong suit, or maybe it’s just hard to let the parts of you that you don’t show the world be known by the person you love because of the fear that if you’re fully known you won’t be fully loved ... perseverance and prayer when we don’t have control of the outcome feels like the scariest decision to make but I can tell you, it’s the one that will change your life if you let it.
And suddenly, on the other side of the victory you’ll find, you’ll see less and less need to carry the pretense and wear the mask you once wore that you thought gave the world a reason to love you. Because if the one person who means the world to you loves you more BECAUSE of your humanity, rather than in spite of it, the freedom you’ll be afforded will unlock every other shackle holding you captive to a life lived behind a mask.
Masks are great for masquerade balls, not for real life. This is a hard and holy work, but there’s a freedom that awaits us when we choose the hard thing with Jesus that truly makes life fully worth living. And it’s what we were made for. Connection. True connection watered with honesty & fertilized by grace.
I’m writing this as much for you as I am for myself. There’s more, friends.