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Mind

Heart

Girl, You Were Made for Intimacy



My wedding day was less than three weeks away. I could hardly wait to finally marry the man I had already pledged my life and love to. My longings for marriage, intimacy, and a lifelong companion would finally be realized. As the days drew closer, my love for Zack grew deeper. I longed for the moment when I would truly be his. I longed to share all of me with all of him. I couldn’t wait to finally become one.

Whether you’re single or married, you’ve probably felt that same deep desire for companionship, oneness, and intimacy. You’ve probably felt that inner longing to be fully known, cherished, and deeply loved by someone else. From the time your sexual desires were awakened, you’ve probably also felt that intense urge for sexual fulfillment and satisfaction.

What if I told you that your sexual desires and longings actually had immense spiritual significance?

What if I told you that your sex-drive was actually designed to point you toward a deeper spiritual relationship? You’d probably look at me like I was a little crazy, right? Well, as crazy as it sounds (and I’ll agree with you on that), it’s actually true.

God had an amazing plan and purpose in mind when He created your sexual design. From the first humans (Adam and Eve) until now, sexuality wasn’t a random act of creation. It was an intentional and integral part of God’s greater mission. Everything about your sexual design -- from your sex drive, inner longings, desire for intimacy, and inclination toward marriage -- were given to you by God to ultimately point you back to Him.

Sexuality was designed to be an earthly metaphor of a much greater spiritual reality.

When God created the first male and female in Genesis 1-2, He created them as sexual beings and placed them in a relationship with one another. He then went on to sanctify this relationship by uniting them together as husband and wife, binding them together for life in a covenant marriage. This sacred relationship was no ordinary relationship but designed to be permanently binding for life. A covenant was designed to be stronger than a contract or agreement. It’s a powerful word that essentially means “a promise that cannot be broken.”

"MARRIAGE WAS DESIGNED BY GOD TO BE AN EARTHLY PICTURE OF WHAT A PERMANENT AND UNWAVERING PROMISE OF LOVE SHOULD LOOK LIKE."

After the covenant was established, God then (and only then) blessed this first marriage by placing the intimate act of sex within this sacred relationship (Genesis 2:24-25). Within this covenant marriage, the husband and wife were then given the most physically intimate act to enjoy as a celebration of their lifelong union.

But it doesn’t stop there.

As we’ll begin to see, marriage and sex were ultimately designed by God as physical representations of the incredible love and commitment that He has for His children.

If you zoom forward in Scripture, you will begin to see this beautiful picture unfold. God is not like any other god, but One Who loves His people fiercely and permanently. He is a God Who makes covenant promises toward His own people. From Noah, to Abraham, to Moses, to David -- God made covenant promises to each of these men and their descendants.

He promised to love them no matter what happened.

However, these Old Testament covenant relationships were only arrows pointing to the ultimate covenant promise that would come through Jesus Christ in the New Testament. God loves His children so much that He sent His Son to die on our behalf and offers us a covenant relationship with Him if we accept Jesus as our personal Savior. He loves us so much that He is willing to enter a permanent, eternal relationship with us that can never be broken.

God created marriage to be an earthly picture of the covenant love that He has for His children. But it doesn’t stop there. It gets even more amazing. Sexual intimacy was created within the covenant to teach us about the intimate and personal relationship that God wants to have with each of His children. He is not a detached ruler whose primary desire is power and allegiance.

He is an intimate God who wants to know and love His children like a Father.

As we say in our book, Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart:

“God uses a very specific Hebrew word throughout the Bible to help us understand his intimate love for us. The word is yada. In Hebrew the word yada literally means, ‘to know deeply or intimately.’ ‘The word yada appears in the Old Testament more than 940 times. . . . the word yada is most often used to describe intimacy with God -- His with us, and ours with Him.’ God intentionally uses the word yada to help us see that He desires a deep knowing with us. He doesn’t want a casual or surface-level relationship. That is not why He created us. He wants to yada us and for us to yada Him back. He created us for this purpose. To know and have a deep and satisfying relationship with Him.”

Here’s the mind-blowing thing: the same Hebrew word, yada, that is used to describe God’s deep love for His people is also the same Hebrew word that is used to describe the act of physical sex between a husband and wife. Check this out:

“Now Adam knew [yada] Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, ‘I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord’” (Genesis 4:1)

“And Cain knew [yada] his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch . . .” (Genesis 4:17)

Sex is the most intimate act any two humans can share.

That’s why God intentionally chose to describe sex in marriage as yada  — to be deeply known. This same exact Hebrew word is then intentionally used by God to describe the same level of intimacy that He desires to have with His children. Sex is an earthly metaphor of God’s intimate love. Check this out:

“Know [yada] that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture” (Psalm 100:3).

“You have searched me and you know [yada] my heart . . . for you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows [yada] it very well” (Psalms 139:1, 13-14).

Just as a husband and wife were created to love and know one another on the deepest level possible, God loves us with that same powerful love. He wants to know us. He wants us to know Him. He designed us to be fully known and loved by Him. He created us to find ultimate satisfaction in a covenant relationship Himself.

As incredible as marriage and sex are, these physical metaphors are not the main thing.

They were created by God to give us an earthly picture of what His powerful and intimate love looks life for us. Marriage and sex were never meant to ultimately satisfy us. They were designed to point us upward to the only One Who can fully satisfy our souls. Rather than getting stuck on these earthly metaphors, we need to look past these physical gifts and allow them to point us to the God Who created them.

Girl, you were made for intimacy. Whether you’re single or married, your sexual desires were never meant to be the true source of fulfillment in your life. Your sexual desires were designed to ultimately drive you toward the only relationship that truly satisfies your soul. You were created by an incredible God Who loves you and wants to be in an intimate, covenant relationship with you. He wants to know (yada) you deeply and love you more fully than any human ever could.

His covenant love is what our souls truly need.

As you experience sexual longings and desires in your life right now, I pray that they will remind you that you were made for something bigger -- for Someone greater. May your sexual longings be a regular reminder that you were not made to be alone, but to find satisfaction in an intimate relationship with the God Who created you.

When your soul finds rest in the love of your Savior, only then will you be able to enjoy and cherish the earthly gifts of marriage and sex as God intended. Only then will these amazing physical blessings become a genuine celebration of all God created them to be.

I’d love to hear from you below!

  • What stood out to you the most while reading this post?
  • How does “yada” change your view of sex and God?


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Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal are sisters, lifelong friends, and founders of GirlDefined Ministries. These tall Texas gals are passionate about biblical womanhood and love God’s truth through one-on-one discipleship, writing, speaking, blogging, and posting Youtube videos. They love competitive sports, especially basketball, and are always up for adventures in the great outdoors. When they’re not writing or speaking, you can find them spending time with their big family or hanging out at a local coffee shop.


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