Have you ever felt like you’re living for the future? That everything you’re doing today is just to prepare and build for a better tomorrow? I don’t know if it’s just me, but I find myself saying "one day" a lot. Like "one day" it won't be like this because I’ll have ______.
I would say, "one day" I will be married and won't have to spend every holiday event alone. Or "one day" I’ll have the honor of becoming a mom and I too will find the joy in parenting. And "one day" I will be settled in my career, I’ll have the experience and finally lead the career of my dreams.
As I sat alone in my apartment thinking about this concept, I asked myself,
“Why do you live for the 'one day' of things? As if that makes your current reality better? Is today really that bad that you’re always striving for tomorrow? More importantly why am I so entitled to think these 'one day' scenarios are due to me; like they are part of some right of passage? What's wrong with where I am? What’s so bad about being single, without child, and in the process of building my career? Why is where I am never enough?”
As I processed these very real emotions and reality I know many single women my age struggle with, I got this picture of me working to clean a room in my house. I wanted it perfect, spotless, as I was preparing for Jesus to come over. There I was, feverishly cleaning, head down and all the while He was in the room!
I WANT TO TRULY ENJOY EVERY PART OF MY LIFE AND NOT ALWAYS LIVE HOPING FOR THAT "ONE DAY."
Just patiently waiting for me to see Him. To stop cleaning; to sit with Him; in the middle of the mess. In the middle of me getting things together. I felt the Lord speak to me in my moment. He said, "If you keep working and striving for ‘one day,' you’ll miss Me in the today."
Instantly, I thought of Mary and Martha in Luke 10. Martha is working and serving Jesus while her sister, Mary, sat at his feet. When Martha finally speaks to Jesus she says:
“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
Mary has chosen the good portion.
In a moment, I decided that I was done. I'm done with striving and living for "one day." I'm learning how to be OK with exactly where I am and not because it's just a "season" and will one day pass. No, I’m OK with where I am because I actually do love everything about where I am! There’s so much beauty that I’ve been missing by hoping and thinking about "one day."
The future version of me, my ministry, and potential family do not make me more valuable, worthy or relatable than the person I am today. I want to truly enjoy every part of my life and not always live hoping for that "one day."
He is my "one day."
He is my every day.
He is the good portion that I never want to miss again.