Answering Together: How to Support Your Spouse’s Faith Questions

Supporting our spouse’s faith questions is an integral component of a Christian marriage. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV) describes the significance of two united with God: “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

How can couples support each other’s walk with Jesus? How do we create a safe space for asking questions about God?

Finding these answers is achieved by offering mutual encouragement, prayer, and study so that we may grow together in our faith. Let’s delve a little deeper.

Study the Bible Together

Reading the Bible can be our personal time with God, and it should be. However, the Bible also expresses the importance of public scripture readings to help our friends, family, and church grow in faith.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NIV) says to impress the commandments on our children and to talk about the scripture at home. Before there are kids, there is the couple, so it stands to reason that reading the Word should be a couple’s activity.

Pray Together and For Each Other

God wants us to come to Him both separately and together as a couple. Marriage is meant to be a threefold construct—God, Husband, Wife. One of the best ways we can support each other is by praying together and for each other.

Scripture is rich with commentary on the importance of prayer in our journey with Christ. In fact, Jesus Himself reminds us in Matthew 18:19 (NIV): “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.”

James 5:16 (NIV) takes it a step further by instructing Christians to “confess [our] sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” Who better to confess to and pray for than our partner in life?

Practice the Art of Discussion and Active Listening

The most crucial strategy for creating a safe space to support our spouse’s faith questions may be practicing the art of discussion and active listening. These skills are a hallmark of all successful marriages, but they do not happen overnight. They take work and practice.

It is best to practice how we approach discussions with simple issues. Once we master the small stuff, the bigger issues are more manageable.

Yelling and screaming are never appropriate ways to handle discussions. With this in mind, fellow Baptists—leave the fire and brimstone to the pastor. How do you actively listen?

1. Make sure you allow an appropriate amount of time for the discussion.
2. Pay attention and let your partner know you are paying attention by making eye contact.
3. Ask questions and clarify.
4. Avoid interrupting.
5. Research questions together and look up scriptures to answer those questions.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) reminds us to “encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing,” while Ephesians 4:2-3 (NIV) provides instruction on creating a safe space: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

Lastly, when seeking to support your spouse’s walk with Jesus, remember God’s definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV): “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Two Are Always Better Than One

How do couples support each other’s walk with Jesus in a safe space where we can ask questions about God? Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV) answers that question beautifully:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

In short, the distance between us and heaven isn’t a straight line. As we take that walk with Jesus, we have the opportunity to include our spouse. Encourage each other. Pray together and for each other. Study the Bible together! Additionally, get involved together in your church and try to serve others as a couple!