6 Unexpected Times to Tell Your Husband Thank You

Marriage is a gift, and as such, those of us who are blessed with it should be grateful to God for granting it to us. Our gratitude shouldn’t stop there. It can also strengthen our relationships with our husbands!

Elisabeth Elliott put it this way when she said, “A wife if she is very generous, may allow her husband to live up to perhaps eighty percent of her expectations. There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it by very much. She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the 80 percent, and both of them will be happy.”

One way to practice this rule of enjoying the 80 percent is to express your gratitude for your spouse out loud. Not only will this work on your heart posture, but it will also work on your husband’s.

When we are in a rut in any area of life, we must search harder and dig deeper to find joy and contentment. Apply the principle of gratitude to your marriage and look for new ways to honor your husband through thankfulness. Here are some examples of unexpected times you can tell your husband, “Thank you.”

Show Gratitude For His Personality

Consider a positive aspect of your husband’s personality. Is he driven, easy-going, passionate, funny, sensitive? Although any personality trait can have a positive and a negative side, focus on the positive and thank your husband for it.

You might say something like, “Honey, I really appreciate the way you can lighten the mood with your sense of humor. Thanks for being funny!” Gratitude towards who he was intrinsically made to be honors your husband and God, who created him.

Verbalize Gratitude For His Spirituality

Without analyzing how often your husband prays, reads the Bible, leads devotions, or encourages you with scripture, thank him for what he does.

If he plays the kids a Bible song before bed, leads the dinner prayer, or sits every morning with his Bible, find a way to thank him for his efforts to grow or lead spiritually.

You might say, “Babe, thanks for remembering to pray for my mom’s sick cat at dinner. That meant a lot to me.” Gratitude allows us to acknowledge blessing, and any spiritual effort on our husband’s part is a blessing.

Actively Be Grateful For Your Intimacy

God provided marital intimacy as a gift to be enjoyed by both husband and wife, but emphasis is often put on the husband’s enjoyment. Surprise your husband by thanking him after a time of intimacy.

Be specific and point out what you enjoyed or simply express gratitude to him for being one with you. Chances are that this type of gratitude will encourage him and give him confidence in your physical relationship.

Show Appreciation For His Physicality

God created your husband to look a certain way, and there are physical aspects of your husband that you enjoy. Whether it is his hair, fitness, smile, or fastidiousness, express gratitude to your spouse for his looks.

Focusing on the things you enjoy about your husband’s appearance will not only make him feel good but will increase your appreciation for him as a whole.

Express Gratitude For the Small Things

It is easy to express our thanks when someone makes a grand gesture, but appreciating small and unnoticed things can have a big impact. Consider how you would like to be appreciated for the small, continual, unseen things you often do unnoticed. Look for similar things your husband does that you typically take for granted.

Maybe he fills the car tank with gas, takes out the trash weekly, always washes his coffee mug, faithfully goes to work every day, or shuts the door quietly when he leaves early in the morning. No matter how small, tell him you notice and are grateful.

Forget Past Offenses, but Remember the Good

In marriage, it can be all too easy to cast up past offenses to our husbands when we are upset with them. But how often do we remind them of their past successes?

Find a time to remind your husband of something he did in the past that you are thankful for. Bonus points if you can do it in front of others.

Our family takes an epic road trip every summer, and whenever people ask me about it, I tell the story of how my husband saying “Yes” to the first adventure led to all the subsequent ones. I can tell it makes him feel good to see my continual gratefulness for that one act.

Be Grateful Even When You Disagree

Disagreements are inevitable in marriage. Two different and fallen people who are attempting to live in harmony will find times that they are out of tune. Find a way to thank your husband for his decision-making during a time when you disagreed with him.

For example, if he wanted the whole family to stop eating sugar, you could thank him for caring so much about everyone’s health. If he wanted to start a family movie night, but you don’t enjoy screens, you can thank him for making plans and caring about family connectedness.

Find the positive trait hidden inside his decisions and express your gratitude for that.

Embrace Gratitude

Gratitude changes us. John Piper says, “Gratitude is the joy that arises in response to God’s goodwill toward us in all his gifts.”

When we express gratitude to our husband, we are really thanking God for His gift to us. Ultimately, our gratitude practices draw us closer not only to our spouse but also to our God.