How to Rebuild Trust Through Knowledge and Connection

God invites us to create a life that comes with the promise of power. This happens through our connection to the Holy Spirit. It’s why following the hovering Spirit is so important. Our connection to Him affects the level of power we have with which to create our new lives. The last hovering movement—remaining at or near a certain level—suggests that hovering with the Spirit is how we maximize our creative power.

When my father died, my connection to the Spirit remained intact. My branch was firmly rooted in the vine, and it grew, even blossomed, as a result. Consequently, I continued serving the kingdom and growing spiritually. New things came after the old. One of those new things was Reggie.

Unfortunately, when Reggie died, my transition wasn’t as smooth.

Before Reggie’s passing, my daily devotion time had been authentic, rich, and dynamic, often consisting of a mixture of praying, studying, meditating, and journaling. Reggie’s death changed that.

At first, I struggled through my normal process, but I just went through the motions so I could check “devotions” off my list. On one of those occasions I told God, “It hurts when I try to spend time with You like I used to.”

I felt Him say, “It’s okay.”

That freed me. God wasn’t judging me for my inability to spend time with Him right then. God’s okay reminded me that He considers quality (the position of my heart) more important than quantity (frequency or amount of time spent with Him). When I remembered that, I stopped judging myself too. I stopped being legalistic about spending time daily with God.

When I stopped being legalistic, I saw that not only had I changed and my relationship with God changed, but my view of God had also changed. Don’t get me wrong. God hadn’t changed. The Bible says God “is the same yesterday, today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8), and I believe that. What changed was my understanding of who God is.

Before Reggie’s passing, I underestimated the depths of pain God would allow. On the day of Reggie’s death, I learned He would allow it and did allow it. Experiencing that level of pain fractured the trust I had in the God I thought I knew. My trust wasn’t completely broken. I still trusted Him to heal me of the pain. But I didn’t trust Him to protect me from it anymore.

Rebuilding my fractured trust proved to be a complex journey. I had to reconcile the God I knew before with the God I now know. Only then could the restoration of my shattered trust truly commence. Having seen the Holy Spirit restore other people, I knew restoration was possible, but disconnected from God’s plan and purpose for my life, I felt powerless, unable to make His power real in my own life.

When I fail to trust God, I limit my ability to see myself as God sees me. When I don’t see myself as God sees me, I limit my ability to imagine the possibilities God’s plan makes available to me. When I limit my ability to imagine the possibilities, I limit my access to the Holy Spirit’s power—not because more power isn’t available. It is. God’s power, his abilities, are limitless (Ephesians 3:20). No, it’s our ability to access his unlimited power that’s limited. It’s our delay in trusting him that keeps us from reconnecting—from creating our new lives.

The failure of the Texas power grid in February 2021 serves as a reminder of the importance of staying connected to our power source. During this crisis, over 4.5 million customers were left without power in freezing temperatures, resulting in shortages of food, water, and heat that lasted for days (5 J. David Goodman and David Montgomery, “Despite Reforms, the Texas Electricity Grid Is Still Vulnerable to Cold,” New York Times, December 23, 2021).

For years, Texas had relied on its abundant fossil fuel resources, such as oil, coal, and natural gas, which allowed the state to operate independently from other major power grids in the United States. While this provided some advantages, it limited the state’s ability to tap into a larger power supply when the need arose. It’s important to note that the lack of power wasn’t due to unavailability, but rather a consequence of choices made. Just as my own lack of access to the Holy Spirit’s power can be attributed to my choices and lack of trust, Texas faced a similar situation due to its choices in not connecting to other power grids.

But we aren’t powerless. We can choose restoration. We can choose to trust God, then join Him in His restoration of us and the rebuilding of our lives and communities. And when a new life is being created, limbo—the place between endings and beginnings— is where restoration begins.

Therefore, the limbo you now find yourself in is your opportunity to reconnect and recharge. It’s where God begins to restore any power you lost—and any peace.

If you’re feeling untethered, if you’re uncertain or torn, if you find yourself waiting, or if your energy levels have dropped, rest easy. Trust God’s got you and reconnect. Abide and bear much fruit. Complete the first step in God’s creative process—remain connected and begin to create your new life.

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Taken from When Your World Ends by Dawn Mann Sanders. ©2024 by Dawn Mann Sanders. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press. www.ivpress.com.