Have you ever had one of those AH-HA moments in your life? I had one of those last week as I was talking to a friend at church about her recent broken engagement. She shared with me her heartache, but also the hope of knowing that God is sovereign and He does have a plan for her life. God knew her engagement would be broken and still allowed her to go through it for a very specific reason. Although she may not understand why, she is choosing to trust God and praise Him through this storm.
She went on to explain how she is grateful that God is giving her another chance to serve Him in her single years. She looks forward to the day she will one day be married but she knows that this time of singleness, however long it may be, is a very unique time to serve God with all that she is. That is when I had my AH-HA moment.
I love ministry and I am passionate about serving God and investing in relationships, but I didn’t view this time in my life as a set apart time to serve God in a very unique way. After I got home and had some time to think about it, I realized that those years from high school graduation to marriage are typically short. Most girls get married in their twenties, which means that after high school we only have on average five to seven years of singleness.
Yeah, so? Why is singleness such a big deal?
Think with me for a second. What do the majority of girls do after high school? Typically they get a job, start college, hang out with friends whenever they can, follow the latest TV shows, get a boyfriend, vacation, etc.
The majority of the time, we do not use these activities and pursuits to serve God and invest in eternity but rather we work to make ourselves feel special and important. But as Christians, shouldn’t our activities after high school look any different than the world’s? I want a different mindset! I am challenged to think about the few years of singleness in a new light.
What if we devoted our single years to serving in the church, planning women’s events, hosting Bible studies, mentoring the young girls in our community, attending women’s Bible studies, serving our families, taking over some of our parents’ household tasks, preparing family meals, taking care of our grandparents, volunteering in nursing homes or crisis pregnancy centers, baby-sitting for free, writing encouraging notes to friends and family, coordinating events for our family and church, memorizing Scripture with our siblings and young ladies at the church… These are just a few of the ways we as singles can serve God and bless those in our own neck of the woods.
If God wills me to get married, that means my single years are dwindling away and will be gone before I know it. Once I get married my main ministry will be my husband, shifting my primary focus away from other things.
In Matthew 20:27–28, Jesus reminds us that we are here on this earth to serve, not to be served. As we wait for marriage, our time as single girls is ticking away. And married or not, our lives are just a vapor (James 4:14). What will you do with the time that God has given you right now? Will you spend these single years focused on yourself or serving God? Will you build your skills to serve Christ or make your name greater? Will you spend your thoughts on guys or on God?
Contributued by Bethany and Kristen Baird