4 Ways to Lead Our Hearts Instead of Following Them

We pulled into the parking lot at our nature center, and my three not-competitive-at-all sons scrambled out of the car and raced toward the map. Though it’s been years, I still see the scene clearly. Their little fingers traced the colored trails, and their little voices asked which ones were easy or hard. Once we settled on a trail, they repeated the trail symbol on the way to the trailhead: “Follow the turtles, follow the turtles…”

This week, I saw a post from the National Park Service that said, “There’s nothing wrong with following your heart, but sometimes it’s good to check the map, too.” When I picture our nature center visits, I can’t imagine skipping that posted paper trail map to choose our path. My crew would never risk delaying lunch by walking trails without consulting that map!

Yet, as I rummage through my memories, I recall countless other times when I chose to follow my heart.

Our culture applauds and even expects that we follow our hearts. We’re encouraged to be true to ourselves. But sometimes, our hearts lead us in ways that oppose God. For me, this practice of heart-following meant God-muting.

When I followed my heart, I stopped following Jesus.

I know it isn’t just me. Maybe you relate. When I search my Bible, I find example after example of people who allowed their hearts to lead them away from God. Abraham, Noah, Moses, and David – all men who loved God deeply – all fell into heart-led moments that created turmoil, heartbreak, and distance from God.

How do we feel what’s happening in our hearts but still allow God to lead? Because isn’t He the holder of the map? Doesn’t He know the safest trails? Let’s examine four ways we can first notice what’s in our hearts and then lead our hearts to Jesus.

1. Understand the habits of the heart.

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14)

What our hearts do and what we feel is all by design. God gave us emotions. So when our hearts feel heavy from emotional things, we don’t need to push that away. We can take note of what our hearts are saying. We can learn their leanings. Then, we can line up what we’re feeling and sensing with God’s truth—because what our hearts tell us isn’t always true.

Author Alicia Michelle wrote of this human heart tendency, saying, “As Christ followers, we cannot follow the world’s advice to just ‘listen to our hearts’ since human hearts can be deceitful and influenced by worldly concerns (Jeremiah 17:9).” (Emotional Confidence, p. 110).

When we understand that what we feel can be real but also not true, we can begin to pause in those big-feeling moments and turn our hearts to Him. Seeking Him in all heart things and inviting Him into all of the struggles and wrestles helps us to sift and sort through them. We can know that He will speak into it.

Then, the more we know Him, and the deeper our hearts meet His, the more the desires of our hearts become aligned with the desires of His heart. When we trust Him with our hearts, He gives us His heart.

2. Choose a soft heart.

While sometimes it may not feel like it, the truth is that the condition of our hearts is a choice. In Psalm 95, we see a very clear outcome regarding the state of our hearts:

• “Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts…” (Psalm 95:7)

It’s a choice to harden our hearts – which means it’s also a choice to keep them soft.

• “They are a people who go astray in their hearts, and they have not known my ways.” (Psalm 95:10)

When we choose to walk away from Jesus, the root of that choice begins in our hearts.

Do you see the sequence of these steps? Before we choose to follow our hearts, we choose whether our hearts will stay soft and open or closed and hard. It’s the soft heart that hears and follows Him.

3. Know what to trust.

“Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.” (Deuteronomy 6:5, CSB)

Jesus said this is the greatest commandment—that we love God wholly. But loving Him with our whole hearts comes with a choice: follow our hearts or follow Him? We can’t do both.

In fact, this very choice shows up in these verses: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Notice that we aren’t instructed to trust our hearts. In fact, we’re told not to lean on our understanding. Instead, we’re reminded to trust in Him with all our hearts.

We’re instructed to “submit to,” or in other translations, it reads “acknowledge” or “know” Him – and when we do, we’ll also know that His path is better. We will trust His map to offer straighter paths than the ones our hearts attempt to create.

4. Lead your heart to Jesus.

“…He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice.” (John 10:3-4 NLT)

When our hearts are soft and surrendered to our Shepherd, we will want to follow Him where He goes. Just as sheep trust and follow their Shepherd to guide them to safety, Jesus’ words to us promise protection and peace when we follow Him: “Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'” (John 8:12)

When we choose to follow Him, we carry our heavy and hard heart cries to the One who already knows. When our hearts are overwhelmed, we take them to the higher rock (Psalm 61:2).

And friend, when we lead our hearts to Jesus, He will lead us.

“My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places…” (Isaiah 32:18)