After being fired, dumped, or hearing anything in the “no, not now, not yet” family, the last thing we want to think about is, what can I learn from this? However, what we learn from rejections is what insures our future success.
1. It Might Be You
We have to stop telling ourselves that it’s a political or racial issue, social injustice, the state of our world, or “them.” It very well could be us!
Blaming the world may make us feel better but it does nothing -- absolutely nothing for us.
Success is in your DNA, but if you want to experience it, you have to look at every situation and ask yourself, “What could I have done differently? What am I missing?”
2. Do Unto Others...
The sting of rejection doesn’t just come from what we “lost,” but how we lost it. The language, the tone of voice, the way we were rejected lingers in our mind…
At some point, you will be the one sending someone on their way. Don’t be a replica of your selfish boss, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner or friend. An eye for an eye leaves both parties blind.
3. Don’t Listen to Bad Advice
You spill your heart out to your best friend, your mom, your spouse, the person on the subway… They listen intently, nod their head and say, “Uh-huh” in all the right places. It feels so good to be understood, and when they tell you to just forget about it, you know that’s exactly what you have to do.
Unless you want to have the same conversations and climb the same mountains for the rest of your life, don’t “just forget about it.” No matter how great you were (are!) there is probably at least an ounce of truth in “why” you were rejected.
Do you need more experience? Should you take a business class, or brush up on your social skills? Is baggage from your past interrupting your present?
Once you find the truth in the “why,” don’t sit around and talk about it -- do something about it. Move forward with the lesson, leaving the sting of the rejection behind.
4. MOVE ON!
I just finished writing a book about a vivacious twelve year old, who after experiencing some devastating events, stumbles upon an amazing opportunity. But instead of being excited, she’s shocked and full of unbelief. It’s crazy, it’s impossible, there’s no time… Her new older friend tells her that sometimes we live so strongly in our disappointments, we don’t see the amazing possibilities right in front of us.
She goes on to say that sometimes they’re the greatest ones thus far, but that we’re so busy looking behind, we miss out. Of course, our twelve year old hero instantly decides there is NO WAY that’s happening to her.
As an adult, we smile. If only we had the energy, the enthusiasm… A lot has happened since we were twelve.
It’s true; rejections tear at our heart, making it hard to trust... to try again -- to believe. Rejections change our life. They can also save it.
Something splendidly spectacular is right around the corner. Faith is the key to seeing it.